‘We make our own success in life’, that’s what we are told, but that’s not strictly true. 

It may shock you to know that your success in life is dependent on who your friends are. Who we surround ourselves with is equally important to the process as the hard work we put in, but what does success mean? How do we define it?

The world would have us define success by fame and fortune when, in the truest sense, success is simply measured by whether we achieve the goals we set out to accomplish. For some people that might be something such as becoming a mother and for others it might be becoming a popular Rockstar. The point is first you have to define what success means to you and then you can start working towards it.

However, while we’re working towards those goals, the support that our friends or the people we surround ourselves with are crucial to the process. I always think it’s very easy to see who wants you to succeed when you actually start succeeding. Some will support you and others will ignore you; some will pull/ push you up; others will try to keep you down because they feel your success reflects on their abilities somehow.


Let me tell you something that might impact greatly on your ability to be successful. You shouldn’t have to convince others of your worth; it’s too exhausting! You should surround yourself with people who already know your value and want to tell others how awesome you are. The more times we surround ourselves with people who value us, the more we stop trying to prove our value and  how good we are, the more we can just focus on being good and that in turns helps us to succeed.

Obviously, life sometimes happens, and people can’t always be there for us 100% of the time, and that’s understandable. However, when we constantly feel like a burden on someone instead of valued and respected, that’s when we need to evaluate the friendship. There is something to be said about loyalty; I myself value that quality, but it cannot come at a detriment to ourselves every single time.


I have stayed in far too many toxic friendships for far too long, hoping I could somehow convince the other person to give me their time or support, when the truth is, they only ever wanted to know me when it’s convenient for them. Meaning they won’t support you when you’re on the way to success; but they have no problem reconnecting once you are there.

The bottom line is, choose your friends carefully. The older I get the more I strive for a drama free life, where I’m not constantly worrying about whether people are upset with me because they won’t be direct or where I am constantly paranoid that by sharing my good opportunities, I’m putting someone else down somehow.

So, do we make our own success? Yes, we do, but not just directly by working hard and seizing opportunities, we also make our own success indirectly, by who we allow in our corner. We all deserve people in our corner, people who will protect us, support us and fight for us every step of the way so don’t settle for anything less. You get to choose who’s in your corner; don’t put someone in there who you are constantly chasing to stay. It’s exhausting and a waste of your truth worth; ultimately it could be the reason you don’t succeed. No one deserves that power over you.

By Rachael Elizabeth

Rachael is a author, blogger and has worked in education. Found out more about her books and blogs on her website.





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